OTHERWORLD
by Sylas-Demon
Summary: It's basically a pardody where Micheal has been replaced with my demon boy, Sylas, and...better summary in the first chapter.....Rated R for references to things that are...ahem....and gore.....be easy on me...first fiction post since...FOREVER!(I was Dar
1. Default Chapter

Otherworld –   
  
An "Underworld" Parody  
  
What is this?  
  
It's simple. After watching the movie a few times, I'd start annoying my sister by making comments at parts and wondering how a certain part would have taken place if Sylas was in Michael's place. You'll get a good description of Sylas later. This is simply a collection of these comments put together into a hilarious parody.  
  
Summary:  
  
WARNING: Michael Corvin fans may not appreciate this parody involving him being replaced with my demon boy, Sylas, who only appears to be close to Michael's age(he's "256 and still young.....lookin'" as he says).   
  
This is a story of chaos, carrot guns, spaghetti pistols, shackle fetishes, a guitar scythe, and other nonsense. Michael Corvin is replaced by my boy mainly because coincidentally, he had similar experiences and is normally silly.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Underworld or its characters. I only own Sylas and the gun ideas....   
  
CHAPTER ONE: DEADLY SUBWAY OF DOOM!!!  
  
Selene sits on top of a hot dog stand. Her pal (Nigel?) is atop a Seven Eleven across the street. As Selene tells her monologue the guy across from her starts blowing kisses and making kissy faces at her. She blushes and returns kisses and bats her eyes. A few passersby stop to stare at Selene. A little boy starts crying for no reason. Selene tries to ignore.  
  
A seemingly young man with long bright red 80's spiky fluff hair, pure white skin, black dog ears that poke out of his hair and curl up at the tips, yellow cat's eyes(yellow with black slit pupils), sharp black fingernails, red rectangular lens sunglasses, black denim trench-coat with biker collar and red inner lining, gray shirt with black collar that says "keep staring," black flares with silver duct tape on the legs, belt with a large gold square buckle, and combat boots(this guy is Michael's replacement and if you need a picture to better visualize him, I'll give directions to the pics at the end of the chapter) walks down the street, listening to random Offspring tunes on his I-Pod. He senses followers and turns to investigate. He sees the two lycan men who are following. He takes off his I-Pod head phones and stops the current track. Why are these dudes following me? I know I stick out in a crowd but this is ridiculous!, he thinks to himself. Ha! I'll get them to stop! The demon boy stops, turns around and glares at the big guy. He stops along with the other guy.  
  
"Think you can take me, prowlers?" the demon says with a smirk, "I really don't appreciate the prejudice..."  
  
"We're not following you!" says the big guy.  
  
"Yes, you are." The demon replies.  
  
"No, we're not." The lycans reply.  
  
"Yes, you are!" The demon replies.  
  
"No, we're not!" The lycans reply.  
  
"YES YOU ARE!!!!" shouts the demon.  
  
"ARE NOT!!!" shout the lycans.  
  
"Prove it!" says the demon.  
  
"Wha-?" says the big guy.  
  
"You heard me!" says the demon crossing his arms and tapping his foot.  
  
The two lycans look at each other and then at the demon boy who smirks at them. They turn around and go the other way. The demon chuckles, puts the I-Pod head phones back on, turns the music on, and continues the way he was going. The two lycans see this and turn around and begin to follow him again. The demon boy senses this, snarls, and picks up the pace. Suddenly he has an idea. He looks behind him and watches the two lycans follow him. He chuckles at his idea and turns his head just as he walks head-first into a light pole. Surprisingly he quickly regains himself despite embarrassment and continues walking.  
  
Selene stares down at the crowd in front of her. She gets angry at the fact that they don't seem to realize that her buddy is doing the same thing. She stands up and points at him.  
  
"DON'T YOU SEE THE GUY OVER THERE?!! HE DOING THE SAME THING I AM!!!!!" she screams.  
  
The crowd ignores her and continues staring. Selene buries her face in her hands. Humans these days......, she thinks to herself. Suddenly a loud scream causes her to jerk her head up.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! HELP!!! TWO RACIST DUDES ARE TRYING TO KIDNAP AND TORTURE ME!!!!!!" shouts the red-head demon as he runs right through the crowd with the two men pursuing.  
  
Selene watches for a moment and decides to follow. She signals to her friend and they both hop down from their perches and pursue.  
  
The demon boy runs down the street as fast as he can. He sees the subway sign and decides to lead the lycan men down there. He looks back and sees that they are gaining on him. The demon turns his head back around and hits another light pole.  
  
"AAAAAHHH!!!! WHAT'S WITH THIS TOWN!!!!" he shouts before he runs down the subway stairs.  
  
A vampire guy down at the bottom of the stairs watches as the demon boy runs into the subway area. He watches the two lycans pursuing him and then joins Selene when she and the other guy appear. The demon boy hides behind a pillar toward the back of the area. People stare.  
  
"Sshhhh! I'm being stalked by racists!" he says to them.  
  
They listen and go back to whatever they were doing.   
  
The two lycan guys enter and look around. The demon is nowhere to be seen. A train comes in. Selene along with the two guys enters the station. She points out the two who were following the demon and they pursue quietly.  
  
A little boy gets off the train and catches a glimpse of the red-haired demon. The demon sees him and cringes as the boy approaches as the train leaves. The boy stops in front of him and looks up at him with big blue eyes while licking a lollipop. The demon pushes down his sunglasses so that he can look over them. The sudden wave of colors other than red hurts his eyes. He groans and rubs his eyes. He glares at the kid.  
  
"Go away......there are racists after me...." he says through his fangs with a glow to his yellow eyes.  
  
"Are you a doggie monster?" asks the boy rather loudly causing the demon to cringe.   
  
"YES, and I'll eat your face if you don't go away and stop talking to me...." he replies, gritting his fangs.  
  
"But mister dog monster, it says "Keep Staring" on your shirt-" says the loud boy before being interrupted.  
  
"SCREW WHAT IS SAYS ON MY SHIRT, BOY!!!!!!" he shouts as he kicks the boy onto the tracks.  
  
The lycans look up as the boy sails through the air and onto the tracks. A train hits the brat and all stare in disbelief. The demon's eyes widen and he turns off his I-Pod and takes out the ear-pieces.   
  
"Sweet!" he says kind of loudly.  
  
All eyes move from the tracks to the demon who just spoke. The Lycans make a run for him. The vampires move in. The demon sees the Lycans, steps out into view, tilts his head down, and holds his hand out. The Lycans stop in their tracks.   
  
"You racist prowlers leave me no choice.....I cannot allow you to discriminate against demons like me anymore...." he says to the lycans as he lowers his hand.  
  
The two lycans look at each other and then at the demon. The vampires stop and decide to watch what's gonna go down. They kick back on a bench and munch popcorn and sip at Slurpies. One of the lycans scratches his head while staring at the demon.  
  
"I thought he looked a little odd for a dude...." he says as the big guy nods.  
  
The demon glares through his bangs at the two and shows his teeth. He rolls up one sleeve to show some pure white skin.  
  
"Wouldn't you, butt-monkeys, find this skin tone a little odd?!" he asks angrily before unrolling the sleeve and then pointing to his ears, "What about my ears? Aren't they a little odd?!"   
  
The two Lycans look at each other. The demon's glare continues.  
  
"What about my hair, you fools!!!????" he screams at them, "IGNORANT PEOPLE REALLY TICK ME OFF!!!!!!"  
  
The demon boy tilts his head back and screams really loud like a punk rocker.  
  
"LET'S SEE IF YOU REJECTS NOTICE THIS!!!!" he shouts.  
  
The lycans watch at a pair of red, black, and blue angel wings appear to shoot out of the demons back. The demon tilts his head back down with his bangs over his blazing yellow eyes. The vampires start tossing popcorn into each others mouths. Selene happens to look up and get the others to do the same. The demon reaches behind and pulls a guitar out. The lycans laugh.  
  
"Hey pal, what's your name? We need to know what to put on your tombstone." laughs the big guy.  
  
"Heh. You're only laughing now. You won't be after you find out how badly I can slaughter you with this." says the demon with a toothy grin.  
  
The lycans continue to laugh while watching. The demon, keeping his eyes covered, takes the neck of the guitar and pulls on it. The lycans laughing halts as the guitar's neck stretches out and the strings disappear as it reaches twice the demons height. He then lays the end of the guitar's body on the floor and then uses his foot to push down a lever sticking out of the side of it. A long scythe blade shoots out of the opposite side. The demon picks the guitar scythe up and takes a fighting stance. The two Lycans step back and the vampire crew claps.  
  
"As for my name, I'm Sylas Lee Zota.....dealer of discipline..." he says allowing his glowing eyes to show.  
  
"KICK THEIR ASSES, SYLAS!!!!" says Selene, standing up.  
  
Sylas stares at her with a look of disbelief. The lycans take the opportunity to run for Sylas. Sylas sees them and swings the scythe as if it was the weight of a stick. The big lycan stops just as the other moves forward and is sliced in two. The vampires cheer. Sylas bows. The big lycan pulls out an ultra violet bullet shooting gun. Sylas goes back into his fighting stance and is shot four times in the chest with the UV bullets. He drops the scythe, collapses, and pretends to be dead. The guy walks up to him cautiously. Sylas hears him approach and his ears perk up. The big guy jumps back. Sylas jumps up and runs at the big dude, claws raised and longer than before, and snarling.   
  
"YOU WILL PAY FOR DESECRATING MY SEXY BODY!!!!!!" he screams with his eyes all black except for the glowing yellow irises as well as lengthened fangs.  
  
The big guy freaks and turns to run. Sylas is just inches from tearing the guy to shreds when the UV starts to burn his insides and make the inside of his mouth glow a purpley-blue. He clutches his chest.   
  
"aaaaaaahhhh....nevermind!" he says in pain.  
  
Selene looses it and throws food at the big guy. He turns around and is hit in the eye with a flying carrot. Sylas regains control and jumps on the guy. He begins clawing the crap out of him but is soon thrown off.  
  
The big guy throws off his coat and shirt. Sylas does the same to reveal his muscles and washboard abs.   
  
"Wow. You do have a sexy body..." says the big guy.  
  
"Thank you." says Sylas flexing, "I don't work out...."  
  
"Amazing..." says the big guy.  
  
The guy turns into a werewolf and snarls at Sylas.  
  
"I can do something like that!" says Sylas while taking a stance but is cut off when the werewolf runs at him.  
  
It runs up and before Sylas can do the slightest thing it uses its claws to impale him in the stomach and chest and hold him to the ground. Sylas screams as the werewolf leans down to gnaw on him. He then quickly impales the werewolf with his own claws and throws him off as if he was a teddy bear. He quickly gets up and watches as the wolf hits the wall. Sylas laughs and doesn't pay attention as it gets up and runs at him. Sylas does notice it when it's in his face roaring. Sylas covers his nose.  
  
"That's awful, buddy..." he says to it causing it to stop.  
  
It glares at Sylas and Sylas glares back. Sylas punches it in the face and then jumps up, slams his steel soled boots into its face, flips, and lands. The wolf screeches and then runs blindly at Sylas. Sylas takes a step back but it does nothing for him. The werewolf impale-grabs him again, swings and rakes all its claws across Sylas's throat. The wolf throws Sylas off its claws. Sylas land on his back but quickly gets to his knees with his back to the wolf, coughing and clutching his neck. The werewolf runs at him again. Sylas can hear it.  
  
"WHY DO I ALWAYS GET INVOLVED IN THIS!!!!!" he shouts.  
  
The vampires get up and begin to shoot carrots and spaghetti at the werewolf. It attacks them and kills the one vampire guy by crushing his head in its mouth. Sylas staggers over to his scythe and picks it up. He coverts it back into a guitar and makes it disappear along with his wings. He looks down and finds his shirt and coat and puts them back on. He finds the werewolf guys shirt and rips a chunk off and ties it around his neck to hide his slit throat.   
  
"I'll show you to mess with me....you now have a belly shirt....." says Sylas.  
  
He reaches into his pocket and takes out multi-colored permanent fabric markers and writes "I LOVE TO SCREW LITTLE BOYS" on it in all colors and then draws a rainbow on the back with "MEN MAKE ME HORNY" underneath.  
  
"Ha! How do you like me now!" he laughs as he puts the shirt down.  
  
Sylas looks up and watches the battle as it moves into the train yet Selene stays to check her fallen comrade's body for his camera. She looks up and sees Sylas staring at her. They stare at each other for what seems like forever.  
  
"Take a picture it will last longer!" he shrieks and makes his wings reappear and spreads them wide, trying to look menacing with his claws raised.  
  
Selene takes a picture of him and the bright flash wakes him shriek and cover his eyes. He gives her the finger.  
  
"You Bee-otch!" he shouts at her causing her to snap another picture.  
  
Sylas screams and over-dramatizes the effect of the flash by falling on his back and screaming some more, temporarily blinded. Selene walks over to him and peers down at him. He looks up at her, knowing she's there despite not really being able to see, and bares his fangs at her while hissing and making a lot of noise. He regains his vision as she picks up the UV gun, slams her foot down on his chest (causing to scream like Dexter Holland in the "She's got Issues" song), and aims the gun at his head. Sylas smiles.  
  
"I'll save you the waste of ammo by saying that that bullet will simply bounce off my skull..." says Sylas.  
  
"Why do you say that?" she asks putting the gun in her coat.  
  
"Cuz people tried it many times......" says Sylas.  
  
"No! I was just messing!" she says with a laugh, "You thought I'd shoot you? C'mon, I saw you take on two lycans!"  
  
"You got a point there!" Sylas laughs.  
  
"Your mouth is glowing!" says Selene pointing.  
  
"Nice.....UV bullets tend to do that, I'm guessing..." says Sylas with a stupid grin.  
  
A scream is heard in the distance. Sylas throws Selene off and runs for it. Selene gets up and watches as Sylas runs for the stairs and trips and falls as he tries to run up them. He manages to scramble up them. She laughs and then runs in the direction of the scream.   
  
She runs through the train and past the werewolf eating the other guy she was with. She runs to a secluded area and into the sewer. The werewolf gets up and follows. It jumps down into the sewer with her and she spins around and chucks carrot darts at it. She runs for it and ends up running into a gate. She gets up and dusts herself off. She listens and nearby she hears the sounds of Lycans fighting and playing Ice hockey.   
  
One particularly brutal Hockey fight breaks out where the two lycans are tearing each other to pieces. Lucian comes in with a rocket launcher and takes out a wall to get them to cut it out. They stand there and stare at him.   
  
"YOU TWO GET YOUR COP CLOTHES ON AND GO FIND THAT IDIOT!!!!" Lucian screams.  
  
The two lycans leave. Lucian joins the game and plays viciously.  
  
Selene hears the werewolf that was after her and makes a break for it. She trips in the water a few times but makes it out alive.  
  
To find the Sylas pictures:  
  
Deviant Art: My name is Super-80s-Demon. But you have to be a paying member to search....Um..... OK it's super-80s-demon(dot)deviantart(dot)com(slash) Under "Recent Deviations" see "Sylas vs the Hit That guy" or "Sylas as demonically rabid"(that one is a wolf demon anthro but it's cool) Check out "Easter Benny" and "Dexter Holland" if you wish(I mentioned Sylas screaming like Dexter....)  
  
(dot) = .  
  
(slash) = /  
  
AND....Yes! I drew these pictures MINE ALL MINE!!! Sylas is my hottie!!!   
  
Let me know if I should continue! This is my first ficcy for Underworld! 


	2. SOME SERIOUS PROBLEMS!

OTHERWORLD  
  
I was very pleased with the review of the last chapter! I actually almost had someone in tears! I'm so happy   
  
Now, if you are not an Offspring fan or you don't know who they are, this chapter may possibly confuse you. The Offspring is the band who did "Pretty Fly for a White Guy" and "Come Out And Play" some years back. They have recent hits at the moment that are getting radio and video play. Those would be "Hit That"(very interesting video with a blue guy chasing his big Great Dane dog) and "Can't Get my Head Around You." They also were the band at the Halloween dance in "Idle Hands" (Dexter (the singer) had the top of his head ripped off by a possessed hand.) If you like you can look them up and check them out. If you do, I recommend their official site where you can see them and the two videos I mentioned if you have QuickTime. There's a good picture of them on the banner at the top.   
  
Also, the singer (Dexter Holland)either has or is very close to having a PhD in Molecular Biology(not to be confused with Micro Biology, I hear he gets picky about that...)and he was also Valedictorian in High School. Hence the nickname "Dexter."(His real name is Bryan) I have a scan of the Pacifica High School Graduation program that I got off a fan site. It's proof. Why do I mention this? Dexter's gonna be slamming Selene and using....more formal language rather than surfer talk(he grew up in Orange County...big surf spot....he surfs in the "Da Hui" video with Noodles...yeah....)  
  
One last thing, if you check out my profile, my deviant page is my homepage link. That's where you can find my reference piccies of Sylas. The best one for the moment is called "Sylas vs. The Hit That Guy" and yes he's hitting the blue guy from the video I mentioned and the dog is staring at Sylas. I'll try to get a better reference of him on there soon. (Sorry about all the reading before the chapter! I promise it will be less next chapter!)  
  
Chapter 2 - Some serious problems  
  
Selene drives up to the mansion. Inside, The Offspring are jamming and the majority of the vampire crew is up in front of the stage, moshing and crowd surfing. Selene kicks the door in and enters. The Offspring stop playing and stare. Dexter looks over to Noodles and starts making comments about Selene.  
  
"Hey, since when have skanky whores been allowed to crash mansion gigs, Noodles?"  
  
"I dunno, Dexter, but she's REALLY PISSING ME OFF!!!"  
  
"I think we should tell the bitch off with some VERBAL ABUSE!!!!"  
  
"Hell yeah, Dex!! LET'S TEACH THE SLUT SOMETHING ABOUT CRASHING AN OFFSPRING CONCERT!!!"  
  
"HELL YEAH!!!" shouts the whole band.  
  
Selene gives The Offspring a death glare.  
  
"I live here." she says to them, "and if I would've known that you guys would be your annoying selves then I wouldn't have allowed Erika to invite you here, let alone turn you into immortals...."  
  
Noodles looks at Dexter who bares his fangs at Selene. She flips him off. He gives her the "Super Finger" (this is where you show your ring finger along with the middle finger) and grins. Selene flips him the arm. Noodles steps in and gets Dexter's attention.  
  
"She has a point, Dex..."  
  
"YOU'RE LETTING HER GET AWAY WITH CONCERT DISRUPTION!!!! SHE MUST BE JUDGED!!!!" (A/N: Deja Vu?)  
  
"Calm down, Dex......."  
  
"I could just tear my hair out!" says Dexter with his hands on his head.  
  
"God forbid if that happens......" Selene adds.  
  
"Oh I know! Fans would hate it!" Dexter states.  
  
"I was being sarcastic........"  
  
"Oh......."  
  
"That PhD in MicroBiology doesn't do a whole lot for a punk rocker, now does it?" says Selene with her arms crossed.  
  
"It's MOLECULAR Biology, WOMAN!!!" shouts Dexter.  
  
"Is there a difference?" she asks.  
  
"Don't get him started........" says Noodles, "Dex, let's continue with the concert."  
  
"HELL YEAH!!!!" shouts Dexter.  
  
The Offspring go back to playing and Selene makes her way through the mosh pit to get to the armory. She storms into the room and confronts Khan.  
  
"We have some serious mother-fucking problems!!!" she screeches at him.  
  
Khan stares at her. She slams the UV gun onto the table.  
  
"Them shit-faced Lycans have super rounds!!! WHERE'D THEY GET THEM!!!!????" she shrieks.  
  
Khan stares. Selene sighs.  
  
"A civilian guy was fighting back against two lycans who were after him....this situation is getting very hairy. I'm not even sure that the guy was a human!" she says.  
  
Khan tinkers with the UV rounds.  
  
"Are you done with the daily bitching, yet?" he asks.  
  
"NO!!!!" she screams, "I have one more thing!"  
  
Khan looks up at her, anticipating something possibly important. She leans over, serious look on her face.  
  
"THE FUCKING OFFSPRING ARE IN THIS HOUSE!!!!!!" she screams.  
  
Outside.....in the mansion living space....  
  
Dexter hears Selene screaming her complaints. He takes her words very seriously.  
  
"BITCHY-SKANKY-SLORE'S GONNA BE BEHEADED TONIGHT!!!!!!" he screams running/jumping off the stage and running down the hall into the armory. (A/N: Slore = Slut/Whore(don't ask))  
  
Noodles catches him as soon as he kicks in the armory door. He grabs Dexter's hair and causes him to stop dead in his tracks.  
  
"Dexter, I hate to say it but the evil possessed hand wants your scalp...unless you leave the slore alone...." he says in Dexter's ear while letting go of the bleach blonde spikes.  
  
Dexter whines but obeys and leaves the room....but not before Selene points and laughs at him. He runs over and jumps on top of the table then on top of her and attempts to behead her with a pen. Noodles grabs Dexter by the hair and hauls the screaming singer out of the room. Selene jumps up and on top of Dexter. Lucky for him, Noodles saw Selene coming and let go of his hair. Selene grabs him by the head and starts slamming him into a wall. Noodles watches (how nice...). Dexter comes up with some insane idea and smiles at her. He bitch-slaps her upside the head. She jumps into the air and lands behind him. Selene goes to karate chop him in the back of the head but as soon as she takes a stance, he falls on her and just lies there on top of her. (Dex is 6'2" and "built".....just to give you an idea.....)Selene kicks and screams and Dexter laughs. Noodles grabs him by the ankles and drags him off Selene. She gives Dexter the finger and he just laughs at her. He and Noodles get back on stage and start making jokes (A/N: They did this at the concert I went to....).  
  
Kraven and crew come down the mansion stairs. Dexter looks up and winks at Erika, his partner in crime. She winks back. The crew fights its way through the mosh pit and enter the armory. Selene explains the whole ordeal with the Lycans and Sylas.  
  
"I swear I heard an Ice Hockey game going down in the sewers!!" she states.  
  
"You didn't SEE anything did you?!" asks Kraven.  
  
"Look, unless I'm some kind of Psycho, I know what I heard and there could be hundreds of illegal hockey games going on down there!!!" Selene screams.  
  
"I'll just let some idiot dumbass who doesn't know what they're doing go take care of it..." says Kraven, "GET GOING, SOREN!!!"  
  
"Let me go." says Selene.  
  
"No." says Kraven.  
  
Outside the room, Dexter introduces the next song, "Hit That." Erika hears this and goes into rabid fangirl mode.  
  
"OH MY GAWD I LOVE THIS FUCKING SONG!!!!" she screeches and runs out of the room and into the mosh pit.  
  
Everyone stares. Selene leaves the room causing yet another fight with Dexter. He sees her as she's leaving the room and he makes a running jump over the mosh pit and attacks her....... while he sings "Hit That." She throws him through a wall and all is quiet. The entire mosh pit stands staring at Selene. She flips everyone off and leaves.  
  
Selene stands in front of the mirror of Viktor and Marcus' chamber. The wall opens up revealing a window/door that allows the vampires to look in. Selene half expects Dexter to be waiting to jump her from out of nowhere (I wonder why...). Instead, he walks in with his hands in his pockets and a band-aid on his cheek (kinda like the rapper, Nelly). He stands behind her staring at the back of her head as if he could shoot death rays out of his eyes.  
  
"What do you want, you psychotic 'Tard...." she growls.  
  
"Blondie said that what's-his-face wouldn't want you spending hours looking at his thingymabob....." Dexter whispers in her ear.  
  
"I knew you were a total 'Tard when it came to anything but Micro-"  
  
"IT'S MOLECULAR BIOLOGY, YOU WET-HAIRED BITCH!!!!!"  
  
"WHATEVER!!!!! Did you just say that I have wet hair?!"  
  
"HELL YEAH!!! IT LOOKS WET EVERY TIME I SEE YOU!!!!"  
  
"Gawd, you are a 'Tard....."  
  
"I don't see you with any PhD's!!!"  
  
"Just shut up...."  
  
Erika walks in.  
  
"Viktor wouldn't want you staring at his tomb for hours on end!" she says to Selene.  
  
"Ha! That's what I was trying to say!" says Dexter.  
  
"You told her what I told you?!" Erika shrieks.  
  
"You didn't tell me that you didn't want me to tell her what you told me!" Dexter replies.  
  
"I don't like to tell people what I'm going to do..." she says.  
  
"Well then how do you expect me to know whether or not to repeat what you say to me?!" Dexter asks showing his fangs and his blue eyes going pale.  
  
Erika looks up at Dexter to say something snotty and evil to him but gets a good look at him and smiles.  
  
"You look very sexy like that, Dexter!" she says blushing.  
  
"........women........." says Dexter looking over at Selene.  
  
"Actually, that's just her......." says Selene, "Though....she is right about the sexy thing......"  
  
Dexter stares at her.  
  
"I'm kidding.......I have no idea what she sees in you........." says Selene.  
  
"Thank god........" says Dexter looking back at Erika who giggles like a school girl.  
  
"You look so young!!!" she says with a giggle.  
  
"How old are you, anyway? 21?" asks Selene.  
  
Dexter stares at Selene as if offended by the subject of his age being brought up. Erika looks at him anxiously.  
  
"Why do you guys care?" he asks, seeming embarrassed.  
  
"Cuz we wanna know if you're legal!!!" Erika screams.  
  
"I'm curious...she wants to know if you're legal..." says Selene.  
  
"Well.....I AM legal......." says Dexter.  
  
"JUST TELL US HOW OLD YOU ARE!!!!!!" both girls scream.  
  
Dexter stares at both girls wide-eyed, a fang sticks out on one side of his mouth. You'd expect him to be sweat-dropping if this was an Anime. He sighs and tries to look calm despite being scared out of his mind.  
  
"I'm 37." he says to the age seekers.  
  
"OH MY GAWD!!!!!!" shrieks Erika, "I thought you were 18 and like a super-genius with that PhD!"  
  
"Well....they do call me Dexter......like the cartoon...." says Dexter.  
  
"Oh-My-God!!!! Dexter's Lab!!!!" squeals Erika.  
  
"That's not your real name is it...." says Selene.  
  
Dexter shakes his head looking a little scared.  
  
"Tell me what it is!" says Erika getting excited.  
  
Dexter shakes his head again looking a bit scared.  
  
"I'd rather not....go on the internet and find out....." he says.  
  
Selene and Erika look at each other. They apparently never thought about the before. Dexter takes advantage of them being distracted and runs away. Selene and Erika pursue. Selene catches him and knocks him into a wall in the hallway. Dexter screams because he never saw them coming and getting slammed into a wall is not a painless thing. He falls to the floor, too freaked out to move and just stares at the two looking scared out of his mind.  
  
"What is your real name, Holland?!" says Selene, a bit ticked.  
  
"Noodles is gonna kick your ass!" he says to Selene.  
  
Selene barely caught a word he said she narrows her eyes at him.  
  
"NOODLES!!!!!! THE SLORE IS TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!!" Dexter screams loud enough to wake the dead.  
  
Selene grabs Dexter by the throat and lifts him about a foot of the ground and slams him into the wall.  
  
"That sounds like a very good idea." she says to him.  
  
Dexter's pale blue eyes go wide and he does the first thing he can think of.  
  
"Look over there!" he says pointing down the hall.  
  
Selene and Erika both look. Dexter kicks Selene in the head and she lets him go. He takes off in the other direction. He doesn't get far. Erika tackles him and rips a spike of hair off the back of his head. Dexter screams bloody murder and she giggles.  
  
"I'M BEING SCALPED AGAIN!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" he screams.  
  
Selene walks up, rolls Dexter onto his back with her foot, grabs him by the collar of his shirt, and slams him against the wall.  
  
"That's gonna be the last time you touch me!" she screams.  
  
Just when Dexter thought he couldn't get any more scared, Selene draws a gun and shoves the barrel into his mouth. He closes his eyes and starts whining random gibberish. Noodles walks in after hearing Dexter's screams. Selene pulls the trigger. Dexter spits out a mouthful of water and Selene laughs. She sprays him in the face with it giggling.  
  
"I wouldn't kill you! We needed a good entertainer for parties!" she laughs allowing him to fall to the floor.  
  
Dexter sort of sits there on the floor, wide eyed and shaking.  
  
"She Punk'd you!" says Erika seating herself on the floor next to him.  
  
"I'm late aren't I?" says Noodles.  
  
Dexter is silent and looks as if he was in a car accident and comatose. Noodles sits down next down next to him and tries to get any sort of response out of him. He does this by poking him repeatedly. Erika finds this funny and joins in. Selene stares. She gets an idea and reaches for Dexter's hair. Noodles and Erika stop poking him and watch. Her hand is inches from Dexter's face when his eyes focus from the wall across from him to the hand. Selene looks over to Noodles to say "I knew it" when Dexter grabs her arm and bites down on her hand. She flips out and ends up slamming Dexter's head into a wall causing him to let go and fall onto his back. He stares at her silently for about a minute then hisses while making one heck of a creepy face causing Selene to jump. Noodles takes the opportunity to haul Dexter out of the hallway while apologizing to Selene about Dexter. Dex continues to hiss and make faces the whole time.

(End Chapter 2)  
  
I didn't realize how long this chapter was getting until I put it in Microsoft Word. I'm sorry about that! What do you guys think of how I portray Dexter? Personally, I think I made him too much of a fight starter but that could just be me.....The next chapter will have him a bit more calm....that is unless you like him starting fights every time he sees Selene, then I'd be happy to make him more insane! He's fun!


End file.
